The Search for “Normal”

Let me tell you something: even as a therapist, finding a normal therapist can feel like a full-time job. Period.

When I first started looking for someone for myself, I thought I knew exactly what I wanted — someone humorous, sarcastic, and straight to the point (basically, a “me” in therapist form). I figured it’d be easy to find that match. Spoiler alert: it wasn’t.

I met with therapist after therapist — different ages, races, genders, and backgrounds — and still came up short. Every time I thought I’d found “the one,” something felt off.

“Therapy isn’t about finding the perfect therapist. It’s about finding the right fit.”

Like the time I met a therapist who did have that sense of humor I thought I was looking for… until they giggled through half of my intake. Their laughter made me feel uncomfortable and uneasy. That’s when I realized maybe humor wasn’t what I actually needed in that space.

The Awkward Fits and the “No Consult” Crowd

Then there were the therapists who wouldn’t offer a simple 15-minute consultation before committing. For me, that felt like a huge disconnect. Relationships are the foundation of therapy — it’s where everything begins.

If we can’t even start with a genuine conversation, how can we build trust? I remember thinking, “Who is this therapist to be too busy or too important to offer me a few minutes of connection?”

At one point, I even got so desperate that I asked a former colleague if she would consider being my therapist — fully knowing that ethically, it wasn’t appropriate. But I was desperate to find someone who just felt normal. Someone who could meet me where I was without the pretense or formality. That’s how much I wanted a genuine connection.

The Price Tag Myth

And don’t even get me started on the price tags. There are plenty of amazing clinicians out there — but remember this:

“The cost of therapy does not determine the quality of care.”

Higher cost doesn’t equal higher compassion, connection, or effectiveness. Sometimes it just equals a higher bill.

Through all of it, what I learned is that every therapist has a different style — and that’s a good thing. Therapy isn’t one-size-fits-all. The key is finding someone who makes you feel seen, safe, and supported. Someone who fits you.

The Unicorn Therapist

And in the end, I did.
I found a therapist who accepts my insurance, accepts me for who I am, and is even willing to work around my schedule. This may sound like a unicorn, but it turns out — they’re out there.

“Don’t give up. The right therapist for you exists — and when you find them, the real healing begins.”

Final Thoughts

Finding the right therapist is a process, and that’s okay. Ask for that 15-minute consult. Trust your gut. Therapy is a little bit like dating — when you find the right match, everything clicks.

Because the right therapist for you is out there — and when you find them, that’s when the real work (and the real healing) begins.